The Ugliest Barrel

Outside, the skies began to get darker... roaring thunder clouds on the horizon were steadily drawing closer... and with that, the rain. A large band of undesirables began making their way to the popular yet out of the way pub. The large yellow eyes of the beast contained within the cage that was mounted on top one of the gas powered transports focused onto the bar... the tongue slipping across the toothy, lower maw anticipatively...

This band of miscreants were known as the Cretu Wolves, an older gang of thieves dating back for centuries, however the past few days, the group has undergone 'new management'. Before, they were led by Nidesha Blackmoon, a successful (till recently) and rare Half-Drow and Half-Izulan Elf who was known for her beauty, and her cunning. She was still a member of the Ebonshifters Gild of Thieves during 2282, perhaps the last of them still around... and was one of the few carrying Izulan blood in the modern times...even if it was only half:



Her bones now jutted from the pile of filth in the corner of the cage, save the skull which was still lodged somewhere in Syrex's colon or intestines; it would pass soon. Sad, after centuries of thieving and leading a grand band of thieving mercenaries under her thumb, which had been, till her recent death, been seen almost as a noble extension of the Royal Guard of Cretu... and it all gets snuffed away by a monster who was hungry. Nidesha Blackmoon was taken by surprise, and Syrex took advantage of that momentary flaw, that sliver of weakness where skill, wisdom and training amounted to literal crap. Like a fine wine, Syrex had greedily slurped up Nidesha Blackmoon, and now the froggish monster was in charge of the band of thieves as per tradition in the Wolves apparently. They outfitted this cage with silk pillows and comforts for Syrex's girth and size, even as their previous leader digested alive before their eyes, screaming and wiggling... no one dared to fight their new leader for the role, who had already eaten two of their own as 'show' after Nidesha stopped squirming in her belly...

Now, under Syrex's direction, she lead the group to the handsomely decorated pub in the middle of no where, and promised her new crew that anything they want is theirs... save the maiden of the pub. She was her true objective, the thing she heard so much about... she sounded absolutely delicious.

Excited, the beast shifted in her position, her arm slipping between the wide bars and drew a claw around the one known as 'Arden Bullseye':



She gripped the man tightly, her hand encompassed his entire, bulky frame, and he was one of the thieves she was still 'breaking down' as he seemed upset by the fact she made a meal out of Nidesha and two other fellow thieves; even if it was to put the group in line. "Arrrrrrrden...." she hissed, licking her teeth, a piece of leather from Nidesha's corset still lodged between a pair of lizard like teeth. She chuckled as her glowing eyes pointed to the Tavern, while her hand continued to constrict and squeeze Arden in a way most painful! "...take a few guys and kill everyone inside, except for the bar maiden... sssssshe's mine to pick a fight with~" She slurped. "Fail me... and you will be on the menu for tonight~" She chuckled and then threw the muscular man forwards. "Now... sssshow me what you all are made of!" She hissed.

The other thieves roared and began to yank out automatic weapons, melee weapons, lighting molotovs and the like as they proceeded with the plan. Arden had vanished into the crowd, directing the attack in a manner he would have if Nidesha was still with them, save the parts of her that were in the fetid filth pile Syrex deposited on the side of the road and in the cage for one of the fresh fish to clean up...

"Kill everyone but the woman tending the bar..." Arden said, and watched with crossed arms as a few of his men kicked open the pub doors.

"Arden...." Syrex hissed. "I want you inside... she has the treasure the others seek... find it."

Arden sighed, and taking a large revolver in one hand, followed the four guys who entered the pub ahead of him...

Crisis Rocan wrote:Hmm fire!

Such a nice warming thought.  To be honest all I can feel is the ice slowly thawing all over me, ad do you know how long it takes to warm up from freezing to death at absolute zero.  Me neither this is a definitely a first, and standing at attention chilling out in such a fashion is beyond awkward.  I can't even feel half my body, let alone the little soldier despite his stiff saluting.

They're not suppose to get this cold.  Freezer burn, frost bite, that would be ht compared to this.  And she's just waltzing away all cocky little smiles.  How the hell do I get feeling back into my... umm body.

I think a nice warm fire would be just the thing right now, I'll gladly take you up on that.

There was much more to her then just a pretty face and body, owner and bartender, hostess, waitress, the list seemed to go on from what I've sen through my thawing eyes.  So here we go half a turn, k one fiftieth of a turn, and hobble, hobble, turn turn turning slowly, oh fire, oh yeah fire, or am I just picturing her red hair .  Hmm I wonder.  Well might as well enjoy this fire and heat, once I thaw out enough to actually feel something other than ice cold.

She hummed playfully as she turned the corner, heading back into the bar proper. Most hostess' would feel... pretty off by this stranger and his sudden appearance. But not Lenore Lunathorn, who was the descendant of the famous Pirate 'The Rook', who struck fame for swindling the Three Sirens in the year 2282:



She fondly looked over to the portrait of The Rook beyond the half frozen customers whom she was in the process of warming up, with fresh hot pumpkin and beef stew at the ready.

And by 'swindled them', The Rook stole away with nearly 75% of their collected income and vanished without ever being found by the Three Sirens; who all but one, died that year if she recalled her history. In fact, The Rook, who was really Bobbi 'Boobs' Ravenforest one of Mary Killigrew's former captains in the Siren's fleet, pulled off that feat by meeting someone just as extraordinary as the lad freezing in the fire. You see, Bobbi Ravenforest, was Lenore's grandmother. 'How is that possible?' One may very well say, and to be fair a casual observer would simply state Lenore's family are not entirely human. Well, there may be some above average capabilities, but no, they were very much human. Lenore would listen to her grandmother speak the truth of her legend, of how she had wanted vengeance for being marooned in Domescadian waters in 2279, that she had been enslaved, devoured by Apophi for the amusement of the crowd in Abdel's Colosseum. She was given her freedom upon slaying a Minotaur Shocktrooper participating in a death fight with no revives like she had been given with the Apophi. She was free to leave in 2280, and she returned to Scardia to the Sirens, who didn't remember who she was. She cut ties with them then, and was even injured by the Brazen Siren, and thought dead. But she not only survived, she took her money and invested in her own ship, crew. She planned a heist while the Dreadnaught's crew were busy on White Tower business, and had so much loot on her ship, it was unsafe to pilot. It only became worse, when the Sirens found out she was making off with their assets, and thus The Rook was forced to open water, to try and outsail the fastest and deadliest ship on the ocean during 2282! Not only that, but choppy waters and the typhoon The Rook sailed through, on a boat overloaded with loot remind you, threatened to topple and sink the simple sailing galleon! She said waves pushed most of her men off the deck, and that Captain Killigrew beckoned a Megas Selachi, a large mershark, to pluck their ship from the water and lay claim to the lives on board in exchange for returning the stolen assets.

She said that most of her crew died, or was swept away from the deck, their sacrifices bought her and some of the dwarven members who held fast and managed to stay their ground, precious time. Then... he appeared. She described him as looking like the most gentleman looking pirate, handsome in traditional pirate attire, having gripped the half torn sail as he descended from the top of the nest, and in good time too, for Bobbi had lost her grip on the wheel of the ship and was about to meet a slimy end in the gullet of the giant mershark! But he swooped in, grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her back to the ship, which began to teeter on the very fine edge of capsizing! This man however, was not some swashbuckler, but was a wizard unlike any other. A large wave had re-balanced them, while the Megas was about to pounce for the kill, when he pulled Bobbi onto the deck, forcing her onto her back... She said the sound of the storm, Megas, The Dreadnaught's Revenge's guns... vanished. She said when she reopened her eyes, he was still on top of her... and that when she eventually stood back onto her own two feet she was someplace she never seen before. He was just as confused as The Rook, she told Lenore. He told her 'he's never bought someone with him, nor had his clothes lasted this long' or something of those lines. They were in a sea of liquid crystal, purple skies, and orange clouds. And thus they sailed together for a while. She couldn't say exactly how long, but she had grown fond of the man, and together they had... many warm nights. She experienced two 'other worlds' with this man, which became highly unhealthy for her remaining crew, who were driven increasingly mad with every world jump. Towards the end of her tail with 'S'ainte Ger'main', (the byname he teased her with, and said she'd never understand it, and he was right) and unfortunately, could not remember his true name when they appeared in Galiavan again, for the last world they had been on had caused her memory loss of the entire venture of that world including his name.
Where did they reappear? Well the ship hit land, or rather 'fell' onto land. Falling literally in the middle of a grassy field in Scardia, recognizing the Cretu Highlands once she came to. At first, she was terrified, she could not find S'ainte and remembered that she was still a wanted criminal. Her crew, driven mad by the 'cursed lands' they had seen, abandoned her, not even caring about the plunder they still had stowed away within the holds of the 'The Ugliest Barrel', the ship they had lived on for Gods know how long. She said she never aged while with S'ainte, and upon returning to Galiavan, she was still 28. She said that she made a disguise for herself, and headed into Cretu, and was picked up by a man driving something very... different to her eyes. It was a truck that was less fancy looking, and the kind young man who gave her a ride was wondering what she was doing in the middle of nowhere. Bobbi tried to be coy about it, given she was likely wanted and had asked if he could turn the radio on. It buzzed to life, and upon trying to tune in to Galideno Radio, caught a News Caster's report that Alexander Tenik the Twelfth, announces that while pushing for more Tenik Reactors to be built on Scardia, he and his wife, Agitha, have just been blessed with a healthy baby boy, Alexander Tenik the Thirteenth, in this year of 2574.
It became clear, that no one was looking for her- sorta; but given 292 years had passed since her encounter with S'ainte Ger'main, she had less of a target on her back. In a way, people, not the Sirens, were looking for her, well her supposed watery grave at least. She and the young man visited the archives, she found her tale had become a legend and the Siren's fates. People were still looking for that treasure to this day, and many billions were lost searching for the wreck of the nameless ship captained by the infamous 'Rook', for its name had been lost to history... given it was an unregistered ship she got off an old friend from Galideno, it was no wonder. The most famous of these efforts were of the current Tenik, the Twelfth, and his ancestors Alexander Tenik the Fifth and Alexander Tenik the Tenth. The theories and conspiracies people made of her disappearance and heist had tickled the pirate pink with amusement. She became friends with the helpful man, who became her business partner once they built a pub where 'The Ugliest Barrel' had fallen. Overtime the bar was rebuilt, refurbished, and then Bobbi married that helpful young man and business partner, and together they lived with the knowledge she was displaced from time. Bobbi lived to ripe age of 102, or technically speaking 394, when Lenore was 18. In the ten years since, the money had dwindled into various places, businesses... but mostly this pub.

She smiled at the tale, and she found this man whom appeared to be reminiscent of S'aint Ger'main. Her grandmother had taught her how to sail, how to fight with swords and handle weapons in spite her age, but she also taught her to be open to the magics of this world and beyond... which is why she hardly bated a lash upon her handsome, frozen friend. She admittedly, felt quite attracted to him, even before she saw his lance... and couldn't exactly understand why.

Syrex wrote:Outside, the skies began to get darker... roaring thunder clouds on the horizon were steadily drawing closer... and with that, the rain. A large band of undesirables began making their way to the popular yet out of the way pub. The large yellow eyes of the beast contained within the cage that was mounted on top one of the gas powered transports focused onto the bar... the tongue slipping across the toothy, lower maw anticipatively...

This band of miscreants were known as the Cretu Wolves, an older gang of thieves dating back for centuries, however the past few days, the group has undergone 'new management'. Before, they were led by Nidesha Blackmoon, a successful (till recently) and rare Half-Drow and Half-Izulan Elf who was known for her beauty, and her cunning. She was still a member of the Ebonshifters Gild of Thieves during 2282, perhaps the last of them still around... and was one of the few carrying Izulan blood in the modern times...even if it was only half:



Her bones now jutted from the pile of filth in the corner of the cage, save the skull which was still lodged somewhere in Syrex's colon or intestines; it would pass soon. Sad, after centuries of thieving and leading a grand band of thieving mercenaries under her thumb, which had been, till her recent death, been seen almost as a noble extension of the Royal Guard of Cretu... and it all gets snuffed away by a monster who was hungry. Nidesha Blackmoon was taken by surprise, and Syrex took advantage of that momentary flaw, that sliver of weakness where skill, wisdom and training amounted to literal crap. Like a fine wine, Syrex had greedily slurped up Nidesha Blackmoon, and now the froggish monster was in charge of the band of thieves as per tradition in the Wolves apparently. They outfitted this cage with silk pillows and comforts for Syrex's girth and size, even as their previous leader digested alive before their eyes, screaming and wiggling... no one dared to fight their new leader for the role, who had already eaten two of their own as 'show' after Nidesha stopped squirming in her belly...

Now, under Syrex's direction, she lead the group to the handsomely decorated pub in the middle of no where, and promised her new crew that anything they want is theirs... save the maiden of the pub. She was her true objective, the thing she heard so much about... she sounded absolutely delicious.

Excited, the beast shifted in her position, her arm slipping between the wide bars and drew a claw around the one known as 'Arden Bullseye':



She gripped the man tightly, her hand encompassed his entire, bulky frame, and he was one of the thieves she was still 'breaking down' as he seemed upset by the fact she made a meal out of Nidesha and two other fellow thieves; even if it was to put the group in line. "Arrrrrrrden...." she hissed, licking her teeth, a piece of leather from Nidesha's corset still lodged between a pair of lizard like teeth. She chuckled as her glowing eyes pointed to the Tavern, while her hand continued to constrict and squeeze Arden in a way most painful! "...take a few guys and kill everyone inside, except for the bar maiden... sssssshe's mine to pick a fight with~" She slurped. "Fail me... and you will be on the menu for tonight~" She chuckled and then threw the muscular man forwards. "Now... sssshow me what you all are made of!" She hissed.

The other thieves roared and began to yank out automatic weapons, melee weapons, lighting molotovs and the like as they proceeded with the plan. Arden had vanished into the crowd, directing the attack in a manner he would have if Nidesha was still with them, save the parts of her that were in the fetid filth pile Syrex deposited on the side of the road and in the cage for one of the fresh fish to clean up...

"Kill everyone but the woman tending the bar..." Arden said, and watched with crossed arms as a few of his men kicked open the pub doors.

"Arden...." Syrex hissed. "I want you inside... she has the treasure the others seek... find it."

Arden sighed, and taking a large revolver in one hand, followed the four guys who entered the pub ahead of him...

Her attention was suddenly on the doorway, kicked in by a pair of large brutes with rifles. "Oi, no need to be rough!" She called out, her brown eyes narrowing in on their appearances. They were not men who were desperate, nor starving... she saw men who were on a mission, determined, and their cold stare was evident- they weren't here to drink and make merry with her guests. She slowly slid her hand under the bar when she noted the taller man enter with a revolver in hand. "We want no trouble, and have nothing you want- you can take the money from my register but use any form of force and you will regret it!" She spat out defiantly.

Arden shook his head. "Doesn't work that way sweet heart... orders be orders." He raised his revolver and fired a round into the back of one of the customer's heads! Due to the ice, they shattered into chunks of flesh, making the man frown. It didn't sit well with him... but again... orders...



With that, the others began to open fire on the other customers with their automatic weapons! The bar becoming deaf save for the booming sounds of automatic and high powered gunfire! The customer's frozen in place shattering like the last, bottles of alcohol shattering, kegs spewing their contents from the multiple holes strewn through their wooden frames! The quaint pub was quickly becoming a blood bath, a massacre of horrifying proportions!

Splinters of kegs and fractions of bullets slashed across my ribs as I tried to nonchalantly cup my attachment and guard it from the suddenly flying shrapnel and boozeboxes.





Move or be de-boyed, MOVE! Internal sound track fuck you I know I need to move, but being frosty the frozen fucking blue balls over here isn't exactly going to let me react at top speed, Christ I think I just saw a tumble blow in and by me before I could blink... or in this case slow motion in still frame not even wiggle an eyelash move. I start to waddle as best I can out of the line of fire,

...

gun fire I'm not thawed yet, and warming up the easy way is just too counter-productive and easy to do right now. I'm lazy and milking this beauty like a fine lass, going all superman from frosted flake is not going to get an warmer in the right way. So scoot out of the way all waddle waddle like a peng... murder murder don't think about clothes eating b-rated snuff film cartoon rejects.

Relax, relax chill.. not that much fuck I think I added a layer of ice I'm off my game. I'll wait this out, an thaw some more before I become make an ice sculpture out of myself.