The kitchen of the Candy Queen

Three layers of varying meat deep, four and half types of cheese long, five sleek thin sliced perfectly rounded lightly toasted pieces of sourdough bread.  Mayo, pickles, onions, tomatoes, and death hollow peppers marinated in the perfect blend of demon realm seasonings and heavenly realm spices, with just a touch of Dispair flair.  

Stepping back to eye rape his masterpiece with  the knowing eyeball experienced in the many fine arts of cuisine both culinary and savagery he study the sandwich.  Going about it with all the relish of a drooling superhero, waiting for the dinner bell to be rung and the feast to begin.  Three minutes of time pass as he begins measuring the sandwich inch by inch, marvelously crafted inch.  He would have drooled if he had been any other uncivilized socialite, but this wild boar was far from uncivilized, he was in fact well bred, well fed, and well informed of the  world both honesty and under.

The man, the myth, the recently returned from his unwanted vacation to Gendoshima Bilse Svine.  





Setting the ruler down on the counter he licked his lips, and took a step back as he looked over the sandwich up close and personally.  Doubled over, leaning on the counter top he glared at the masterpiece eyes full of desire he smiled as he stood back up.

“This is truly an exquisite sandwich, a masterpiece the likes of which are unknown to mortal man.  I shall savory every bit of this beautiful work of art.  Now Shag I would recommend leaving by the side door, the Lady of the place will be here in a moment, and I’d much rather not deal with her voracious appetites for young healthy men. “

“Zoinks Mr. B sir, I best like scram away quickly then.”

“That’a boy lad, run off now while I see to dealing with this self satisfying mega…

I’m not talking about you Candy Queen…”

Bilse Svine glanced at the intrusion upon his light snack.





As he begins to work on his little snack, he glares at the lady of the manor who came when she was summoned.

“Now then before I start to fill my Belly, you had one task to do.  One simple hard to choke on and screw up task to do, and you Belyi-flopped the Wargods out of it.  When Mr. E said the Lady Busujima, he meant the head of the clan, not the queen of sugar comas and dentist bills, where’s the salt?”

Instead of finding salt he lifts a thin paper tube and eyes it for a moment before ripping the end off of it and sprinkling the tiny little shiny granulated bits onto the first layer of his sandwich.  

“Putting that aside, you have a chance to redeem yourself, regardless of yet another Belyi-flop.  I was led to believe you are not as foolish as your failures would imply.   But we are anything if not opportunistic in the main office when chances like these present themselves.  Mr. E and myself have come up with a rather entertaining alternative seeing as your setback has forced our hands.  And you know how little we like having to change our plans.”

Without losing a single step or word, Bilse has been working his way neatly through his sandwich, chewing and swallowing between words as he lectures and offers a chance at redemption.

“Now then, before you respond, we have devised these tasks three for you going forward.

Number one, seeing as you have failed in your original goal, and the outcome though obviously a failure in every way possible presents a certain shift in the flow of things, which could prove more beneficial in the long run.  Your task is to prove your worth as the Candy Queen of the Busujima and succeed your cousin as the head of the clan, if you wish to avoid our displeasure and sudden halt to all of our positive business dealings with you.  I suggest you finish this task posthaste and do not fail us this time.

Number two, you have drawn far too much unwarranted attention upon our interest here with your uncontrolled appetites.  You are to go immediately and unquestionable right now on a diet.  That means no more manwiches, not even one lumpy luscious six pack snacks worth.  You cannot afford the attention that is upon you even now.  I have it on good authority that you are being thoroughly checked out, spied upon, and frankly invaded by not only the Gunslinger Association but the BPSA as well.  Perhaps you failed to vet out your workers, staff and other guests properly of late.  We have heard about a missing gunslinger master and apprentice, and that does not please us at all, it puts attention on you and that could bring too much unwelcome attention to the main office.  

Number three, clean up this mess neatly without drawing anymore attention to our association or anymore needless problems that could!”

Wiping his mouth he looks down forlornly at the crumbs on the counter of the sandwich he simply devoured in a matter of moments, yet in a fashion of a rich snub politely taking small bites and constantly wiping away unwanted smears of mayo and liquids from the sandwich as needed.

“Any questions?”

Crisis Rocan wrote:Three layers of varying meat deep, four and half types of cheese long, five sleek thin sliced perfectly rounded lightly toasted pieces of sourdough bread.  Mayo, pickles, onions, tomatoes, and death hollow peppers marinated in the perfect blend of demon realm seasonings and heavenly realm spices, with just a touch of Dispair flair.  

Stepping back to eye rape his masterpiece with  the knowing eyeball experienced in the many fine arts of cuisine both culinary and savagery he study the sandwich.  Going about it with all the relish of a drooling superhero, waiting for the dinner bell to be rung and the feast to begin.  Three minutes of time pass as he begins measuring the sandwich inch by inch, marvelously crafted inch.  He would have drooled if he had been any other uncivilized socialite, but this wild boar was far from uncivilized, he was in fact well bred, well fed, and well informed of the  world both honesty and under.

The man, the myth, the recently returned from his unwanted vacation to Gendoshima Bilse Svine.  





Setting the ruler down on the counter he licked his lips, and took a step back as he looked over the sandwich up close and personally.  Doubled over, leaning on the counter top he glared at the masterpiece eyes full of desire he smiled as he stood back up.

“This is truly an exquisite sandwich, a masterpiece the likes of which are unknown to mortal man.  I shall savory every bit of this beautiful work of art.  Now Shag I would recommend leaving by the side door, the Lady of the place will be here in a moment, and I’d much rather not deal with her voracious appetites for young healthy men. “

“Zoinks Mr. B sir, I best like scram away quickly then.”

“That’a boy lad, run off now while I see to dealing with this self satisfying mega…

I’m not talking about you Candy Queen…”

Bilse Svine glanced at the intrusion upon his light snack.





As he begins to work on his little snack, he glares at the lady of the manor who came when she was summoned.

“Now then before I start to fill my Belly, you had one task to do.  One simple hard to choke on and screw up task to do, and you Belyi-flopped the Wargods out of it.  When Mr. E said the Lady Busujima, he meant the head of the clan, not the queen of sugar comas and dentist bills, where’s the salt?”

Instead of finding salt he lifts a thin paper tube and eyes it for a moment before ripping the end off of it and sprinkling the tiny little shiny granulated bits onto the first layer of his sandwich.  

“Putting that aside, you have a chance to redeem yourself, regardless of yet another Belyi-flop.  I was led to believe you are not as foolish as your failures would imply.   But we are anything if not opportunistic in the main office when chances like these present themselves.  Mr. E and myself have come up with a rather entertaining alternative seeing as your setback has forced our hands.  And you know how little we like having to change our plans.”

Without losing a single step or word, Bilse has been working his way neatly through his sandwich, chewing and swallowing between words as he lectures and offers a chance at redemption.

“Now then, before you respond, we have devised these tasks three for you going forward.

Number one, seeing as you have failed in your original goal, and the outcome though obviously a failure in every way possible presents a certain shift in the flow of things, which could prove more beneficial in the long run.  Your task is to prove your worth as the Candy Queen of the Busujima and succeed your cousin as the head of the clan, if you wish to avoid our displeasure and sudden halt to all of our positive business dealings with you.  I suggest you finish this task posthaste and do not fail us this time.

Number two, you have drawn far too much unwarranted attention upon our interest here with your uncontrolled appetites.  You are to go immediately and unquestionable right now on a diet.  That means no more manwiches, not even one lumpy luscious six pack snacks worth.  You cannot afford the attention that is upon you even now.  I have it on good authority that you are being thoroughly checked out, spied upon, and frankly invaded by not only the Gunslinger Association but the BPSA as well.  Perhaps you failed to vet out your workers, staff and other guests properly of late.  We have heard about a missing gunslinger master and apprentice, and that does not please us at all, it puts attention on you and that could bring too much unwelcome attention to the main office.  

Number three, clean up this mess neatly without drawing anymore attention to our association or anymore needless problems that could!”

Wiping his mouth he looks down forlornly at the crumbs on the counter of the sandwich he simply devoured in a matter of moments, yet in a fashion of a rich snub politely taking small bites and constantly wiping away unwanted smears of mayo and liquids from the sandwich as needed.

“Any questions?”

The woman standing before the giant boar who was making use of her kitchen would have had a similar look upon her face should she have seen it with her own eyes... well, technically she still was. The Busujima blinked before Belyi opened her mouth, paused, and then pointed at him. "You're a pig." She says, repeating it a third time, as he had played this out to her two other times before he got hungry and she followed him into the service kitchen. "Y-you changed..." She says, her first other phrase since 'you're a pig', though the imp had no reason to judge since she physically changes all the time she eats more or less. "...but you're a pig, now?" Belyi the Void Imp repeated, differently but the same words as before.

A long, long time ago, the man before her... or at least she thought it was? The man before her was an old ally and friend, one of the few demonic enemies he made perhaps after Iggy. "...You're a pig, is Iggy now a woman or something?" She tried to joke, her 'human' smile shifting back to the shark like teeth of the imp, and a glimpse of the woman she truly was phased through:

“Boar, actually. Wild boar to be more specific, and frankly I think the poor fella just didn’t agree with my stomach eventually. Then again it could be a bad rash reaction to the very long since dead creature who I gained this unsightly yet fancy appearance from. Point of contention it’s in the genes of my godly bastard parents, the things they don’t warn you about in those fancy sermons and speeches of theirs.

Besides change is inevitable when you are plagued by things beyond mortal understanding. Honestly I think I have uglier hair now then I used too. But I digress, the fact remains, I’m currently as you see me perhaps for the better as my assorted war with the Hazorian Church never truly ended.

Now if we can get off the topic of looks neither of us should have… curse you’re short attention span, I honestly don’t know if Mr. E has been prancing around once again in his ballroom gowns and pantyhose that fit like gloves.

Now we are expecting results, and maybe something to stock the old pantry with for … dammit, stop distracting me with sweets.”

Crisis Rocan wrote:“Boar, actually.  Wild boar to be more specific, and frankly I think the poor fella just didn’t agree with my stomach eventually.  Then again it could be a bad rash reaction to the very long since dead creature who I gained this unsightly yet fancy appearance from.  Point of contention it’s in the genes of my godly bastard parents, the things they don’t warn you about in those fancy sermons and speeches of theirs.  

Besides change is inevitable when you are plagued by things beyond mortal understanding.  Honestly I think I have uglier hair now then I used too.  But I digress, the fact remains, I’m currently as you see me perhaps for the better as my assorted war with the Hazorian Church never truly ended.

Now if we can get off the topic of looks neither of us should have… curse you’re short attention span, I honestly don’t know if Mr. E has been prancing around once again in his ballroom gowns and pantyhose that fit like gloves.

Now we are expecting results, and maybe something to stock the old pantry with for … dammit, stop distracting me with sweets.”

"Uh...huh. Well your the one also raiding my not pantry, but seriously can't blame me for not being told where I was going! 'Look for blue eyes, purple hair, huge tits the size of a Keymelon, that's Saeko Busujima' well excuuuuse me for getting the cousin with the same traits!" She spat, before pointing at him. "RIGHT?! Gah, I can't stand this either! The damn cuz is a confectioner heiress and makes a ton of cash off teeth rot every year! Yeah, I may not be the freakin' head of the clan nor do I have any-for the most part-political power, but I'm bringing in wads of cash for us which has been an issue since Mr. A was offed! I can't stand these sweets, but I can't stop eating them either! I try to eat someone to keep the mind and body off it, but then I end up sugar coating them- I don't know where I, she, puts it all either! Still, can't blame me for wanting some long pig now and then, I may look otherwise right now, but my kind thrived off you flesh bags before you guys learned to walk! I can't help but have occasional snacks! Besides, its just some local police officer I can eat him too and no one will expect a thing!"

Bilse Svine straightened up, Belyi was being to open about things, and if he was going to resolve the current situation and salvage her blunder, before the task was a complete lost cause he would have to start doing some damage control. And quickly chances were things would start spinning very fast in the near future and a bit of tact would be necessary to allow him to leave without being suspect with Belyi’s pursuers.

“Look Madam Busujima, if I may be so direct. Ham and pork make for fine cuisine indeed, and if I must comment on your sexual preferences of oral habits, candy is a fine idea. Splendid even for adding a bit of kinky and romantic flair to your one night stands. But I am here to talk business, and with all these agents from my competition trying to sniff out anything shadowy so they can run back to one law enforcement agency or another. We have to be careful what sensitive information is circulating about.

Frankly the local authorities are a national branch and they would not waste time…”

Bilse altered his voice just a slight bit lowering it to avoid it accidentally or perhaps purposefully carrying outside of the kitchen. And a tone of irritation and warning crept into it.

“Sending agents without keeping track of their whereabouts, or investigating strange changes in their behavior. Take for insistence a seemingly innocent meeting with a civil servant to a well known candy company. Nothing even remotely”

Suddenly yelling the words out.

“NORMAL ABOUT THAT MADAM BUSUJIMA!”

Without breaking stride he adjust his tie as he lowers his voice back down, as though he was inviting eavesdroppers to crowd around listening to what he had to say.

“Now I know our mutual busy dealings are important, but as long as you keep pretending to know nothing and keep your cousin’s secrets from these same civil servants who are very poorly hiding their intentions we will have to cut ties with one another…

Your cousin Saeko the Lady Busujima is putting both of our businesses in danger with her clandestine and perverse affairs. It was bad enough when she ordered you as head of your family to make a private chamber for her, even worse when she started using it to meet with all these people who my company has learned disappeared after meeting with her. But the things she has made you guard in order to keep her in power as head of the Busujima clan it’s going too far. The BPSA is here to investigate you for her acts, my company can’t afford such a shameful association. Yours is going to take a bad enough hit in sales an public image when they find out about all of this, and they will find out these people are very good at their job.

Unless you get in front of it, and confess to being used as a shield from your beloved cousin being implicated and convicted for her crimes, you will lose more than just your fine physique. They will probably execute you repeatedly, on multiple counts for what she has done. My company would never have gotten into business with yours if we knew how foolish you could be for the sake of family. If only you had become the head of your clan and petitioned the Empress to salvage your clans reputation and honor, this entire affair would have been avoided. I must leave soon, it’s bad enough someone from my company will have to deal with the fallout from the BPSA.

If I were in your skin, I would confess everything about your cousin’s trophy collection and your own part in being forced to safeguard it, before you end up being Saeko’s scapegoat when see flees leaving you to take the fall for everything she has done. Especially seeing as there are rumors of your beloved cousin associating with a known Scardian murder. And then I would petition the Empress for leniency in protecting your cousin and legitimacy to succeed her as the head of the Busujima clan and swear loyalty to her. While finding out what it will take to prove you are her loyal supporter.

But that’s just what I would do if I were in your skin right now. Thankfully I’m not, but a representative from my company will be making an official statement to the BPSA as it’s unavoidable now, due to your cousins actions and your part in covering it up. We have to protect our interest and if you wish to keep your skin intact you would be smart to do likewise.”

His head tilted only slight as his eyes slighted changed position to say without words that it’s her choice, how she wishes to proceed with her task of becoming the head of the Busujima clan, and if she doesn’t act first she may lose more than her beloved womanly form with actual breast. Because words could easily be over heard as the most likely were at that very moment.

Crisis Rocan wrote:Bilse Svine straightened up, Belyi was being to open about things, and if he was going to resolve the current situation and salvage her blunder, before the task was a complete lost cause he would have to start doing some damage control.  And quickly chances were things would start spinning very fast in the near future and a bit of tact would be necessary to allow him to leave without being suspect with Belyi’s pursuers.

“Look Madam Busujima, if I may be so direct.  Ham and pork make for fine cuisine indeed, and if I must comment on your sexual preferences of oral habits, candy is a fine idea.  Splendid even for adding a bit of kinky and romantic flair to your one night stands.  But I am here to talk business, and with all these agents from my competition trying to sniff out anything shadowy so they can run back to one law enforcement agency or another.  We have to be careful what sensitive information is circulating about.

Frankly the local authorities are a national branch and they would not waste time…”

Bilse altered his voice just a slight bit lowering it to avoid it accidentally or perhaps purposefully carrying outside of the kitchen.  And a tone of irritation and warning crept into it.

“Sending agents without keeping track of their whereabouts, or investigating strange changes in their behavior.  Take for insistence a seemingly innocent meeting with a civil servant to a well known candy company.  Nothing even remotely”

Suddenly yelling the words out.

“NORMAL ABOUT THAT MADAM BUSUJIMA!”

Without breaking stride he adjust his tie as he lowers his voice back down, as though he was inviting eavesdroppers to crowd around listening to what he had to say.

“Now I know our mutual busy dealings are important, but as long as you keep pretending to know nothing and keep your cousin’s secrets from these same civil servants who are very poorly hiding their intentions we will have to cut ties with one another…

Your cousin Saeko the Lady Busujima is putting both of our businesses in danger with her clandestine and perverse affairs.  It was bad enough when she ordered you as head of your family to make a private chamber for her, even worse when she started using it to meet with all these people who my company has learned disappeared after meeting with her.  But the things she has made you guard in order to keep her in power as head of the Busujima clan it’s going too far.  The BPSA is here to investigate you for her acts, my company can’t afford such a shameful association.  Yours is going to take a bad enough hit in sales an public image when they find out about all of this, and they will find out these people are very good at their job.

Unless you get in front of it, and confess to being used as a shield from your beloved cousin being implicated and convicted for her crimes, you will lose more than just your fine physique.  They will probably execute you repeatedly, on multiple counts for what she has done.  My company would never have gotten into business with yours if we knew how foolish you could be for the sake of family.  If only you had become the head of your clan and  petitioned the Empress to salvage your clans reputation and honor, this entire affair would have been avoided.  I must leave soon, it’s bad enough someone from my company will have to deal with the fallout from the BPSA.

If I were in your skin, I would confess everything about your cousin’s trophy collection and your own part in being forced to safeguard it, before you end up being Saeko’s scapegoat when see flees leaving you to take the fall for everything she has done.  Especially seeing as there are rumors of your beloved cousin associating with a known Scardian murder.  And then I would petition the Empress for leniency in protecting your cousin and legitimacy to succeed her as the head of the Busujima clan and swear loyalty to her.  While finding out what it will take to prove you are her loyal supporter.

But that’s just what I would do if I were in your skin right now.  Thankfully I’m not, but a representative from my company will be making an official statement to the BPSA as it’s unavoidable now, due to your cousins actions and your part in covering it up.  We have to protect our interest and if you wish to keep your skin intact you would be smart to do likewise.”

His head tilted only slight as his eyes slighted changed position to say without words that it’s her choice, how she wishes to proceed with her task of becoming the head of the Busujima clan, and if she doesn’t act first she may lose more than her beloved womanly form with actual breast.  Because words could easily be over heard as the most likely were at that very moment.

She blinked, her lidded eyes staring at the Boar as if he was insane. "What are you doing?" She asked, as he ignored her, and she pointed at him as he began to emphasize and talk almost out of character. "-yeah, that, the thing with your voice. I'm right here." She continued, oblivious till he began making odd references to her original, intended target. "Yeah you're doing it aga- ohhhh, I see what you're doing now!" She shouted with glee! Belyi wasn't the... ooziest Gazer in the bunch.

She played along for now, but the mention of her private chamber! She shook her head 'no' vehemently and glared daggers into him with her eyes! 'NO, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!' she mouthed, swinging her arms out like a ref! Her trophy room was NOT to be cleared out by these agents roaming her house! The little void imp would not stand for this!

She approached him gruffly, gripping his arm. "We need a more private talk!" She harshly whispers. "A meeting, between you and any other's still about in the damn club, hear me?!" She continued, digging into his fur. "I am doing a good job here! I see how the narrative is being 'pushed' now, but I wanna still talk with you all about it when we can!" Belyi/Shiori demanded.

Bilse blinked lazily as he replied looking almost languidly at her attempts to hold him and be forceful with her wants.

"Madam Busujima, I'm merely suggesting a course of action that will ensure you keep you cherished skin intact, things are constantly getting worse and worse even as you delay taking a course of action. Some might say that giving up what you have earned now could provide for a way to reestablish yourself and the kind of things you have earned in a safer more secure environment where you won't have to suffer from the scrutiny your cousin has brought upon you and your company.

Nothing is as of yet decided, the board of directors of my company would be most willing to have another sit down meeting with you once you resolve this mess your cousin has created for you and by proxy my company. How you go about that is up to you, I was just offering a possible course of action, you are more then welcome to decide your own way to do things, my company has no interest in micromanaging other peoples businesses. Nor do we wish to be burdened by shall we say stupid or careless mistakes that could bankrupt our entire company. We would rather remove a business partner that threatens our success then let it rot and ruin us and our future prospects. We don't like failure, but if failure is the outcome what can we do but adapt and move on with the loss. And we don't like to lose.

The choice is yours Madam Busujima, but I wouldn't wait too long or you could find yourself and the things you don't want to give up being taken because of your cousin's actions."

Bilse brushed off her hand without much thought and adjusted his suits jacket before gesturing toward the door.


"If there is nothing else madam Busujima I would like to be elsewhere before things become shall we say bitter around here."

Shiori lets go and then nodded her head. "So..." she clears her throat, raising her voice: "What do we do about my sister-"

"-cousin," interjected the Boar.

"-sister-cousin." She corrected. "What do we do about her in the meantime?" She pressed.

Shaking his head Bilse looked at Shiorelyi...?

"Look you know you have a guest, perhaps a few more than you were expecting, it is time to give your cousin up to them. No more protecting her secrets, if my company became aware of it, there is no doubt the BPSA, GA, and probably others have more than just a passing interest in the evil acts she has committed here. You know the disappearances of your staff when she has visited in secret, and proof that they were ore than abducted or taken away in secret like, not too many obviously just things that she would have kept.

I know how hard it will be to give up her trophies but from what my company has learned there are not enough to even hide them in a small box let alone anything bigger. I think the report mentioned one or two of them, I highly doubt there were trophies from every disappearance. I know it will be a sacrifice to give her and her few trophies up but it is the only way for you to gain any kind of pardon for covering up what she has been doing here in secret while using you to shield her.

I'm just surprised that she seems to be so reckless now running around in the open with a known Scardian Murderer, while she has these dirty little secrets tucked away that could destroy the rest of her clans reputation and you in the process. Give it all up stop protecting her that's what you need to do for your clan, your company, your own honor and reputation. Work with these agents give them the documents you have on her secrets, open access to your companies records and files after all there is nothing there for them to find that would say anything other than the truth. They are just business records after all you don't even have real security cameras here. No wonder your cousin chose your candy company and you to cover up her dirty little secrets.

And now with her running amok you are as safe as possible to report everything you know to the appropriate authorities. now."